Did I hear you say World Champions?

Well, for those of you who still think Zimbabwe is just a city in South Africa, here's some news.
Zimbabwe is officially the world champion in Debate. The championships were held over the pst couple of weeks and we beat off 417 teams to become champions. And one of the team member is in my class at school. How awesome is that.
So there! South Africa my foot.

Somebody Help Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's gotten really bad now. My hands constantly shake, I can't sleep at night and my mind is always wandering (sem rumo Julia) during the day. My friends are worried about me, my parents are scared for me. Everyone is concerned with what is going on. What is it that's making me a living wreck so that I can't even distinguish between reality and dreams anymore?
Simple.
I've missed 3 straight weeks of The OC!
I can't take it anymore. If I don't catch up soon, I'm gonna have a mental breakdown. Or even worse...buy Britney Spears' album!!
Luckily, I'm getting Season 2 on DVD on Tuesday so hopefully it won't ever come to that.
Sigh. Where would I be if it weren't for the OC...

A Maldição de ONZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quem não acreditava, agora não tem desculpa. Tenho provas incriveis que o numero onze é maldito. Se vocês lembram, eu tinha escrito aqui sobre minha namorada nova e que a gente começou namorar dia ONZE de Junho. Tá, então ONZE dias depois no dia 22 (O duplo de Onze!!!!) a gente terminou. Tá, foi ela que terminou comigo mas não quero que todo mundo saiba. Por causa de problemas dificis (ou seja, a sua melhor amiga não gostava de mim e forçou ela escolher entre nos dois, daí claro escolheu a sua amiga) esse namoro curto foi...um...curto.
Mas a vida continua. Ainda tem Batman Begins pra consolar bem logo. E a Julia tambem se ela me visitasse, mas essa é um sonho...

7 Hours for a piece of plastic!!!!

You know, in a young man's life, there are many things that he has to go through in order to build his character and all that good stuff. For example, as many of you know, when I was 13 I went out into the bush and killed a lion. That made me feel pretty manly. I mean, how many of you have killed lions before. Sissies!
But just as I thought the road of tribulation was over for me, I went to face the:
SUPER CHALLENGE OF HEROES!
On Friday, we had a stay-away (that's normal in my country, so don't sweat it) so I went to the ministry of home affairs to get my ID (identidade).
Aqui, a gente só tira identidade quando fazemos 16 anos. Sei que tô com quase 18 anos mas eu tava com muito preguiça. A Julia sabe como sou.
Anyway, so I get there nice and early at 8am and join the queue. Note, the queue started inside the building and ended about 20m out the gate. And I stood...and stood...and stood...and stood...and stood...and stood...and stood...and stood...and stood...and stood...and stood.
I think you get the idea.
After 6 hours in the queue, I finally found a connection (uma pessoa que é o amigo de alguem) to help me out and half an hour late, I walked out with my nice new ID card.
Have you ever stood for 7 hours? Sissies!
The things I do to be a hero...

Shock!

Ok, so this past week, the very boundaries of my understanding and nausea were tested to the extreme (nauseado Julia, eu sei).
E sim, isto é o ARTIGO do que eu tava falando.
Anyway...it's like this. There was this show on Discovery channel about the way people in the east (China and stuff, not Mutare) and it was really really awesome. As I stated in Run for your Lives Part I, I am a kung-fu fan through and through, so you can imagine my excitement when watching these guys do absolutely amazing things just like in the movies. TV heaven. Or so I thought.
Then things went awry when the host (also this super king-fu dude) took us to this cool dojo called the (cough cough) Iron Penis Dojo. I'll wait while you read that again to make sure you saw right.
So this guy goes in and there are these 3 guys with 20kg weights attached to strings which in turn are attached to their...um...manhood. And these guys are just swinging these weights back and forth, looking quite calm. Now that was an uncomfortable sight.
But wait...there's more.
The master then takes us to this room with a pile of weights that add up to 150 kgs and the host guy tries to lift it up but fails. Then this dude comes and attaches a piece of string to the weights, attaches to string to his...um...manhood and then, yes, proceeds to lift the 150kg load 20cm off the ground with his...um...manhood.
After holding down the urge to vomit and resisting the vicarious (nice word hey...look it up Julia) pain in my lower regions I thought, "Now I've seen it all."
But wait...there's more!
So this guy goes outside and finds a pretty decent sized lorry and fills it with 30 people. 30 adults. Sizeable adults. Then he (you guys know the routine by now) attaches the front of the lorry to a string, attaches the string to his...um...manhood and then, yes, proceeds to pull the lorry full of people with his...um...manhood.
Try and comprehend this. Picture the male genital and then picture these amazing feats. Picture the relation. Now be prepared to be tormented by these images for the rest of your natural lives!!!
The scary thing is what if this martial art catches on in hollywood. We'll have Jackie Chan starring in "Kiss of the Penis" and Jet Li in "Once upon a time in China and my penis". Scary. Pray it doesn't leave the confines of that dojo.

PS Forgive me for using the word penis so many times in one post. I shall compensate by not mentioning it again until the next interesting genital fact.

The Kofi Zwana Experiment!

Ok for those of you not in the know (which is everyone unless you guys can read my mind) for the past 69 days, I've been conducting an extremely crucial and important experiment on myself. This experiment has tested the very limits of human strength and willpower. Some call it laziness, I call it untapped power waiting to be harnessed.
So the experiment goes something like this: I forced myself to stay away from posting on my blog for as long as possible despite all the urges to inform the world on the inane but hilarious happenings of my life and see how long I could go without killing anyone. It was going well until I ran out of fingernails to pull out of my fingers so I had to give up. But 69 days is good though. Now I have to figure out how to harness 69 days of laziness...oops, I mean willpower into a renewable energy source.
Sigh...the things I do for this planet...